I Forgive You

Does anyone else look back on past friendships, relationships and situations and just feel disgusted for tolerating it? If so then you can relate to how i’ve been feeling as of lately. My past consists of a toxic ex- boyfriend, dead-end situationships, shady ex friends, several people that put me down and people that only dealt with me because I was always doing them favors, even when I wanted to say no. When I look back on these situations I feel anger, regret, and sadness because I know i’m a good person that deserved better but didn’t have the confidence to walk away. I have been experiencing these emotions a lot as of late because I replay these situations in my mind constantly and it affects my happiness and my confidence level.

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s hard to forget my past but thankfully I’ve come to realize I don’t have to. However, if I want to move forward in my life I do need to learn how to heal from it. Healing does not mean to block out everything i’ve been through but instead of constantly living in the past and focusing on what i’ve been through and what hurt me I need to shift my focus to my present and be grateful for where i’m at as well as focus on speaking positivity into existence for the future I wish to have. I also need to learn how to free myself of my feelings of guilt and shame. If I keep thinking about these old situations and living in those emotions then i’m not giving myself the room I need to move on. Anytime I feel myself thinking about those situations or experience those emotions I focus on mindfulness. I close my eyes, acknowledge what I am feeling and shift my thoughts to something more positive like me driving my dream car, having my dream career, living in my dream house, or being surrounded by people that genuinely love me, or focus on all the things I am currently thankful for while I mentally recite positive affirmations of self-love and forgiveness. I have to realize I am more and I deserve to move on and experience genuine inner peace and happiness.

So baby girl I want to say I forgive you. I forgive you for believing all those people who made you feel as if you weren’t good enough. I forgive you for comparing yourself to others all these years and believing you weren’t pretty enough, weren’t smart enough or just invisible. I forgive you for thinking you had to stay in that relationship because you were too damaged for someone to truly love you how you deserve to be loved. I forgive you for putting all those negative thoughts about yourself in your head. I forgive you for those times you felt your life wasn’t worth living. I forgive you for everything you tolerated because you had such low standards and thought there was something wrong with you. I forgive you for feeling so weak and small and inferior to others. I forgive you for the times you didn’t stand up for yourself. I forgive you but now you need to realize that all that is in the past. You believe whatever you feed your mind so feed it positive thoughts.

Your past does not define you by any means, nor does it determine your worth. If anything it was a tough learning lesson. It’s the old you. They’re situations you no longer tolerate because you love yourself and realize you are a queen. You have the ability to be powerful, to be magical, to be someone extraordinary. You just have to believe it. How others made you feel does not define you. You and only you can do that. You believe what you put in your mind. So fill it with love and kindness. You deserve to give yourself the same love you give to everyone else. Instead of focusing so much on the past that you cannot change be grateful that was then and this is now. Appreciate where you are in life now and focus on who and what you want to become. Clearly you’re on this Earth for reason. We need your personality, your gift. Whatever it is you have to offer it is needed.