Who Am I

As a young woman in my twenties, I think that I am probably in a confusing time in my life. Myself as well as my close friends are all close in age yet we’re all in different stages in our lives. Some of us are trying to get into school programs and get our careers together, some of us live on our own and are completely independent, some of us still live at home with our parents and some of us are in serious relationships getting married and starting families while some of us (i.e. me) think we’ll see the return of Jesus before a decent man finds us. Quarantine and life has had me doing alot of self reflecting about myself and what am I doing with my life as well as my identity.

A text that I recently received from a stranger asked me a really good question that inspired this prompt? Who Am I? TBH i’m not even entirely sure what my answer is. I normally base my identity as a survivor of certain experiences from my past or I base it off of the woman I aspire to be but I have never based it off of me in present time. As a person who is currently trying to heal herself and love herself it’s important to move on from my past so I can no longer base my identity on who I used to be or those experiences. I don’t want to continue to identify myself as the girl who was once bullied, or once homeless, or the girl with low self-esteem who was in a toxic relationship and let people take advantage of her. That was then so the million dollar question is who am I NOW?

This is why healing and moving on is so important. So you are able to discover who you really are. You have to do some deep digging and self-growth to figure these type of things out and sometimes the process can be difficult and lonely but very much necessary. Isolate yourself, write out some goals, figure out what you want out of life, find some hobbies, what motivates you, What type of personality and heart do you have? Your past can be apart of your story but it does not have to be your whole story. There is more to you than that, it was simply a chapter.

So to answer my own question focusing on the present who am I? I am a young woman who is in a state of healing. With each day I am trying methods to become my best self and overcome my depression and anxiety. Sometimes I relapse and that is ok as long as I keep trying. I am a God-fearing woman who is working to get closer to God. I have a really kind and generous heart and need to learn how to set boundaries. I am learning to be true to myself and love who I am. Some days are harder than others but I am trying. I am a introvert but I thank God for the friends and family I do have because they are genuine and it’s usually a good time when we’re together. I have goals to become an occupational therapist that I am working towards. I do not have it all figured out but I do trust that God will guide me. I do want to have a genuine, healthy relationship with my soulmate but I want to learn to love myself so I can finally realize and accept that I deserve the very best and not settle for a man that has any less to offer and isn’t capable or willing to give me queen treatment. I do have many life lessons that I am trying to learn but overall my goals for myself are to deepen my relationship with God, fall in love with myself, improve my mental health, achieve my career as an occupational therapist, accumulate wealth, and build a healthy relationship with my soulmate.